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Remember Buzzwinkle the Alaska Moose These Coming Months

Buzzwinkle the Moose

There once was a notorious drunken moose roaming the streets of downtown Anchorage, stumbling through the winter the way only an intoxicated moose will. For several years, this particular bull found his way into a few too many larders awaiting applejack preparation. Residents fondly named the often inebriated fellow Buzzwinkle due to his insatiable taste for fermented apples. Staggering through the streets, often with a tangle of holiday lights adorning his festive antlers after a wobbly push through decorated trees and shrubs, this large beast was the perennial party animal of the Town Square.

Sobriety, not one of his noble qualities, Buzzwinkle would saunter here and there, without a purpose it appeared, but careful enough to have learned about what traffic will and won’t do on a red light. If only all of the drunken moose in Alaska were so urbane, perhaps fewer accidents along highways would occur between vehicles and moose behaving poorly in public.

Old Buzzwinkle fortunately didn’t meet his demise by stumbling in front of a car late one night after a few too many. No, he was a very old bull and having depleted all pantries he could procure, the poor starving chap was discovered one April toppled over on a warm, dry patch of earth unable to stand any longer. A former wildlife biologist for the Alaska Department of Fish and Game euthanized the beast with a 12-guage shotgun blast that Buzzwinkle either never saw coming, or couldn’t really focus on anyway.

So as the winter months approach, keep an extra eye out for any other moose that have inkling to take up where Buzzwinkle left off. For all we know, they’re simply paying tribute to the memory of the worst publicly drunk offender Anchorage may ever know: Buzzwinkle, the always smiling moose.

 

Source: Alaska Dispatch